When My Breath Took Me Somewhere My Mind Never Could

When My Breath Took Me Somewhere My Mind Never Could.... Hold on tight it gets a little crazy!

I used to think happiness and peace were facebook fake, or a luxury for other people—And I was functioning fine, but that was it, I was only functioning, not thriving, and peace was reserved for-
The people who didn’t replay fears over and over in bed after midnight.
The people who didn’t panic at work their phone rang unexpectedly from the boss.
The individual who didn’t live in a constant loop of “Am I doing enough?” and “What if I die of cancer before I finally get it right?”

If you’ve ever walked through life with your shoulders tight, your jaw clenched, and a vague, underlying fear that you’re somehow running out of time—you’re not alone. I didn't just walk that life I LIVED it! I was raised believing this world could end at any moment and I needed to be perfect to survive it!
So...
Along the unreachable journey to perfection I counted calories, said yes vs saying no just to get approval and if you have also—you’re not alone.
If you came from a religious upbringing and had to recreate everything you ever knew to be true to be your best version, you are home here.
If your nervous system was so tired from constantly performing, pleasing, perfecting and asking to be enough—this is for you.

Because I was her.... an anxious overachiever. Raised to keep the peace. Programmed to fear everything especially GOD— but also fearing failure, food, feelings, death... even joy. Not a place to thrive in.

I lived my life in survival mode without even realizing it, and I was good at it. So good that it looked like success from the outside and don't get me wrong it had it's good moments that I am so grateful for,
But underneath the promotions and smiling family photos, I was quietly unraveling. The fear had never left. The noise in my head never stopped. This overwhelming sense of certain death always present.
And no amount of mindset work or prescriptions could ever touch the grief I carried in my body.

Until I met my breath....................And it took me somewhere my mind never could.
This  is the story of my experience of breathwork that not only changed me, changed my belief about the afterlife, why we are here and dropped me and my entire family into the biggest shifts we have ever experienced for the better.

I'll keep how I found breathwork to a minimum but it was suggested to me at my 40th birthday in Las Vegas from my sister in law who was experiencing her own spiritual awakening. Long story short as soon as I heard what it did to her, I had to do it, it was like my soul was pushing me through a door and I couldn't wait to find a way to practice!  There is so much more to say but I'll jump forward to the actual experience.

There I was, lying on the floor of a warmish yoga studio—pretty much prepared for anything… but expecting nothing. I had invited my husband and his cousin to join me on the adventure of our breath so we had all made a 40 min drive to the closest place that had a once a month offering of this deep style of breathwork.
We had just finished going around the room, each person offering a single word we wanted to embody through the breath practice. I chose synchronicity—a word that had been following me everywhere lately, showing up as numbers on receipts, street signs, songs license plates… like a cosmic breadcrumb trail that wasn’t giving up. I figured this breathwork session might be one more wink or slap from the universe. Teaser It ended up being a full blown death.

We were given a quick how-to on the three-part breath, from there I did what any good recovering perfectionist would do: I focused way too hard.
 “Am I doing this right?”  “Is my inhale too short?”  “Why is my exhale louder than hers?” LOL
Somewhere between the overthinking and the oxygen intake, I fell into a rhythm. A natural, primal pulse like a beat of a drum. I was so determined at this point I blocked out everything, even the music being played. I only heard the three part inhale and exhale of my breath.

It felt in these moments like hours had passed, though in reality, maybe 30 minutes had gone by. The instructor had gently reminded us that tingling, cramping, or emotional release were all normal, and I was ready for all of it.
so naturally I took that as a challenge because at this point I hadn’t felt those yet.....yet.
I pushed harder with my breath and the discomfort, like the good little overachiever I am—even as extreme hand cramping and tingling finally set in (later I learned this was called tetany, and no, I wasn’t dying).
And then…
I was gone. I left my body and my bullsh*t Behind
Suddenly, I wasn’t in that yoga studio anymore.
I wasn’t even in my physical body.
I was somewhere else entirely—floating in a vast sea of black, stars all around me.
Time didn’t exist.
Thought didn’t exist.
But something did—something ancient, wise, and entirely familiar, it felt like home. Crazy right.

From the darkness all around me emerged a glowing, energetic outline of a very large Buddha-like figure.( Buddha was a figure I had connected with over the years and never understood why) Every chakra—though I didn’t know what chakras were at the time—was lit up in perfect order. The figure radiated power, peace, and an invitation I didn’t fully understand… but completely accepted without hesitation. I mean wouldn't you!!!
It reached out its hand.
And of course I reached back.
And with that one gesture, we merged consciousness.

What I experienced next was not a vision—it was a remembering, a return. And yes if you told me this prior to this experience I would have rolled my eyes and told you that you were bat$*it crazy. However in this space I REMEMBERED!
Downloads of understanding of energy and it's ability to heal understanding past lives, sacred knowledge I had never studied but somehow knew....WTF this is so weird....I know.
Then the stars and galaxies opened. It was endless it went on forever. 
Each bright star held a unique energy frequency, stretching into an infinite purple net of light—connecting galaxies, dimensions, souls. I saw what looked like has been described as Indra’s Net, a sacred web of collective consciousness. Each thread individual, yet inextricably linked to every other. Yes we are all connected!

In that place, I felt pure unconditional love. I have never felt anything like this. So much so that I wanted to never leave this place.
The kind of love that has nothing to prove and nowhere to go.
The love that holds you so completely, you forget you were ever afraid of anything at all. It was the safest I have ever felt in my entire life.
It felt to me like the place we come from… and where we will return to. And honestly I didn’t ever want to leave.
But Earth Called Me Back (and So Did My Hunger)LOL
Eventually, the music softened. The instructor’s abrupt voice brought us home. I landed back in my body like a gentle rock flying through the ozone. and smacking back into earth with so much grace LOL. I was in a state of complete shock, I was shookith!
For the next hour, I existed in a strange fog—equal parts blissed out and ravenous. (Apparently, merging with the cosmos works up quite an appetite.)
That night, I slept like I hadn’t in over a decade. No melatonin, no sleep aids like usual just REM!
When I woke up the next day, I cried. I grieved and I felt a deeper love for life then ever before these were not tears of sadness, rather tears of knowing.
Tears of grief for all the years I had lived asleep. Tears of feeling that I had wasted so much time. ( Not real everything is divine timing)
Tears of awe that something so simple—my breath—could be a portal to everything I had ever longed for.
It was A New Beginning (in the most sacred yet cliche sense).
In the weeks that followed, something fundamental shifted inside of me. I was a new person. I stopped all anxiety medications, depression lifted and I felt so in my power! i was in love with life and this experience. I was annoying many with my new positivity of everything LOL.
 I slept those weeks deeper than I had slept in 15 years. My nervous system was different. My anxiety quieted. My heart softened. Even my children noticed. “Mom, you’re different,” they said.
And I was.
Because as cliche as it sounded I had come home to myself!
Not just to the stars. But to my self. To the breath and to the divine Love that created me.
This experience was the beginning of a rebirth I didn’t know I needed, and I feel that humanity needs also.
And now, it’s my mission to share this work with you—because if you’ve ever felt fear, been stuck, unseen, unworthy, or like something sacred is just beyond your reach…

I promise you, it’s not, It’s inside you, It’s in your breath. And it’s waiting for you to remember when your ready. Sending curiosity to you and the hope you will try this beautiful practice.

` D